Thursday, March 17, 2011

I've Got A Secret

I've developed a new way to procrastinate.

I know...Big secret, huh?  It's very hush hush, what I do.  I sit at my computer and I read.  I read other peoples' secrets.  I have no idea who posts them.  I don't know where these people are.  I don't need to, either.  But I read them.  And I keep them.  And I hold them.

In that keeping and holding I also pray for them.  Every once in a while I send up a prayer of gratitude and thanksgiving.  I might even mutter to myself, "Good for you, girlie," or "Way to be, kid," as I smile through the tears that are inevitably in my eyes.  Usually, however, I send up a prayer for strength, perseverance, peace, and hope.  I pray that somehow these people who are hurting (and some of them are really hurting) can feel love from someone sitting in her bedroom, God only knows how far away. 

In reading them I feel intense gratitude that my life - as difficult and bumpy and valley-ish as it is right now - is nowhere near as bad as what these people are going through.  I cry in thankfulness that I have an amazing family and friends who support me instead of tear me down and hurt me.  My heart hurts to think that some of the kids I love dearly might be going through the same things I read about.  And every time I read a secret I vow to make a difference. 

See, the thing that I have noticed the most in these sad secrets is this: people need to know other people care about them.  We need to know other people notice us.  A song I know says, "No one wants to live unknown" and it's true.  A simple thing, like a smile or a thoughtlessly kind word, can make us feel known. 

A random act of senseless kindness can make all the difference in a person's day.  Think about it: That nice lady who let you go before her in the grocery line.  The barrista who gives you a discount on your coffee.  A random person complementing your smile, or laugh, or voice, or whatnot.  Heck!  Even the bathroom graffiti that says, "You are beautiful - never doubt it" can make me smile. 

So there it is.  My secret (although I suppose it's not really a secret anymore, now is it?) is to look outside myself.  My secret is to love.