A Life of Fiction: In Which a Workout Video Kicked Our Butts

Hey! What are you up to at around 5?

I opened my phone and read the text. I set down the Moon Sand I had bought for work (yes...you read that right) and typed back my response.

idk...i was thinking about doing a workout video but it can wait. why? whats up?

I silently hoped Mary would want to do something. I have to honest here: I had done the workout video the day before and was struggling to move like a normal human being. I was looking for any excuse to avoid it today.

I wouldn't be so lucky.

Im babysitting and dont want to drive all the way home before log. *Note: "LOG" is a youth group both Mary and I are involved with, and there is a planning meeting every week.* Ill do the video too!!

My heart dropped a bit. Sounds good, I wrote. We continued texting a bit, just talking about workout videos and the like, and then I went to see a client and Mary went back to babysitting. I got home at about 4:45 and changed into workout clothes, still holding onto a thin hope that maybe, just maybe, Mary would want to do something other than the video.

5:00 rolled around and I checked to make sure the DVD was in the player. 5:05 came. I filled a glass with water, remembering the previous day. 5:07 came and I texted Mary. Are you going to be here soon or should i go ahead and start without you?

Go ahead! I'll be there soon!

My last hope was gone. I sighed and turned on the DVD. "Alright," I muttered to myself as I took a deep breath and tried to get my aching muscles to move. "I'll do it."

I was 12 or so minuted into the video when Mary walked in. "Oh, thank God!" I stopped following the DVD and paused it. Mary laughed.

"Tough workout?" She sat on the couch.

"Come on!" I said. She groaned. "Mary, come on. You said." Now that I was in the workout I needed to finish it.

"I don't know if I want to do it." She shook her head.

"Well I don't want to workout with someone just watching me do it."

"Alright!" Mary got off the couch and stood next to me. "Let's do this."

We worked out side-by-side in silence for about 30 seconds, when Mary asked, "Wait, is that supposed to be Carmen Electra?"

"That is Carmen Electra. And that guy is her trainer."

Just then the trainer said, "If you're doing this right it's going to be difficult to talk. Well, if you're doing it wrong sometimes it's still difficult to talk."

"Did you hear that?" I breathlessly asked Mary. We looked at each other and busted up laughing.

The trainer changed exercises. We were on our backs doing hip raises. "I don't think I can do this!" I gasped. We tried, though, until the trainer said to do the same thing, but this time with one leg off the floor.

"For reals?" Mary asked as we did the first raise. "For reals? For reals? For reals?"

I collapsed on the floor, laughing. "Mary! I can't do it if I'm laughing!"

"I'm sorry! But it's really hard!"

We moved onto hands and knees, doing leg lifts and push-ups and a number of other torturous exercises. Mary looked up at the TV, "Steph...Even Carmen is having trouble with this." It was true. Carmen Electra was obviously focusing and struggling with the workout.

"I'm shaking," Carmen Electra said on the TV. "That's good right?"

"Yes," her trainer said. "If you are shaking that means you are pushing your muscles to their limit, which is what we want to do."

"But what if my muscles don't shake, they just don't work?" I asked the TV.

Mary laughed. "I can't work out because they won't move!"

We laughed together breathlessly. The laughter turned into groaning when the exercises got tougher. The trainer on TV started struggling, too.

"AAHHH!" Mary yelled.

"Take heart, Mare," I said. "There's only about 10 minutes left."

3 minutes later I was the one yelling.

Finally, finally, the section of the DVD we were working out to ended. I struggled up and pressed the "Stop" button. There was no way we were continuing this workout. My body just wouldn't do it.

"That was good." Mary said. I wiped the sweat that was dripping down my face and nodded. "That was good. I mean, at least we laughed. That's a bit of an ab workout, at least."

I nodded again. "Yeah." I was breathing hard, my hands on my hips. "It was good."

We looked at each other and laughed again, both of us wiping sweat from our faces.

I got a text from Mary this morning. It said, "Sore. lets do it again today"

The length of this torturous workout? 30 minutes.