The Fresh Prodigal

**Here's the Prodigal Son Skit that Mary and I wrote for this past LOG retreat.  Enjoy!**

Now this is the story all about how God’s love turns our lives right-side-out

Now we’d like to take a minute – just sit right there –

We’ll tell you how a prodigal son can become God’s heir.

In West Philadelphia, born and raised, 4 sisters, 1 brother, and a mother named “May”

Chillin’ out, maxin’ relaxin’ all cool was all that this prodigal wanted to do,

While his siblings, they rapped – they were totally good! – at entertaining all the people in the neighborhood.

Then it happened one night and he said, “That’s it! I’ve had it, I’m outie!  I’m done with this –

WHAT??

He went up to his dad and when he got near he said, “Hold up! –

I’m gonna let you finish – Beyonce had the best music video of all time.  All time.

He went up to his dad and when he got near he said,

“I got something that I want you to hear

I can’t stick around, I gotta get out –

Gotta go live my life:

“I’m an aduuuuuult, Maaan.

You can’t make me do my chores, Daaaaad”

So Dad gave him his cash, and with it in hand

He set out to discover a brand new land

He walked for days and all through the nights

To an interesting place with some unusual sights

When a stranger appeared who was up to no good

And he showed the prodigal around the neighborhood

But the prodigal, you see, just really didn’t know

That the stranger was only after one thing:

His dough.

He said, “Come chill with me, cuz I know a guy

He can hook us up with chicks and he’s got stuff we can buy.

Get your money in your hand, he lives on this boat.

We can do a bit of business while we’re afloat.

“I’m on a boat, everybody, take a look at me!

Straight flowing on a boat on the deep blue sea.”

“Look at this sucker, paying for my dope

He thinks we all fly, cuz we on a boat!

Look at this guy, he’s such a tool…

Buying all this stuff, just cuz I say it’s cool.”

“I got my swim trunks, and my flippie-floppies

My new BFF beside me, who likes me for me.”

Unfortunately, the Prodigal’s money ran out.

His friend whistled for a cab and when it came near,

The license plate said “LOSER” and had a dice in the mirror!

When the prodigal asked why he couldn’t come, too,

“You ran out of cash, fool. I’m done with you.”

He wanted to be a billionare so freaking bad, but he ran out of Kesha.

He didn’t even have Fiddy Cent.

How could he buy any good food, like Black-Eyed Peas?

It was Ludacris, he should just Usher himself on home.

He needs to Beyonce out of there.

He should have Rihanna home.

We should probably keep going with the story.

What about Eminem?

I got some right here. It’s a Tupac.

He looked for a job, but there was none to be found.

Except for one – taking care of pigs and sleeping on the ground.

He was pretty bummed out, all he did was cry and

pretend that airplanes were shooting stars through the night sky.

I could really use a wish right now, a wish right now, a wish right now.

He came to himself and he finally said,

“It’s against heaven and my father that I have sinned.

I gotta go home, and ask my dad

If maybe he’ll let me stay in his pad…As a servant.”

So he stood up and wiped all the dust and grime

Off himself and he made it to his home in good time.

He paused just a second, just to get up the guts

To say sorry to his dad for acting so nuts.

But before he could even open up the gate,

His father ran out yelling, “This is great!

Here you’re alive when I thought you were dead,

Take my shoes and put them on, put my hat upon your head!”

His father  made a call to all the peeps in the town

and he told them of the party that was bout to go down

there was gonna be cake and some dancing so fly

we’re all gonna party like it’s 1999.

Streamers on the windooooows! Streamers on the wall!

Balloons linin up the hall

All us havin a ball

Broooooother sisters mother fatheeeeer

Everybody in the town GET DOWN!

Brrrrum dum don bob u bob a do dum (X2)

Now everyone danced: father, sisters, and May

But big brother didn’t want to celebrate.

He thought to himself, “This just isn’t fair!

While he was living large I was hip-hoppin  here.

I was working and slaving, doing whatever Dad asked,

I was the perfect son but now he’s putting me last.

I don’t want to dance!  I don’t want to eat!

I want everyone to celebrate just for me!”

Now the father did try to explain to this kid

That a father’s love means that he will always give

Forgiveness to those kids who wander or stray

He will love all his children to his dying day.

Brother didn’t understand what the party was about

He chose to step aside and he chose to pout.

And while he was thinking that this party was lame

Errbody in the club all sang 

“Just. Like. Old times,

You are back again.

You’re alive!

Just. Like. Old times,,

You are back again.

You’re alive!”

Photos by Paul Wintz