I Heard the Bells

Oh, what a day.

Fear, excitement, panic, hope, dread...the list goes on and on and on.  Sitting at my computer (at work...shhh) I felt it all rise up within me.  I became suddenly overwhelmed.  How on earth will we go on after this election day?  No one can deny that this campaign process has incited and ignited passion within people.  And not just good passion.  No.  Anger...hatred...vitriol...

I wondered how our nation could move on after all this.  Surely we are more divided than ever before.

Except -

As I let my mind spiral downward a song came on my Dave Barnes (Holiday) Pandora station.  (Yes.  Holiday.  Judge not.)  As I listened I felt tears come to my eyes and peace wash over me.  The carol was a song based on a poem written by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow on Christmas Day, 1863.

Folks, 1863 was the middle of the American Civil War.  A time when our nation was more divided than ever before, a time in which it seemed we could only splinter apart.  Longfellow, the widowed father of six children, had recently learned his oldest child had been severely injured in the war.  So he did what the artists and dreamers do: He put his pain and hope on paper.

I think it applies now, just as surely as then.

Here is his poem (emphasis mine):

I heard the bells on Christmas Day
Their old, familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet
The words repeat
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And thought how, as the day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom
Had rolled along
The unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Till, ringing, singing on its way,
The world revolved from night to day,
A voice, a chime,
A chant sublime
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Then from each black, accursed mouth
The cannon thundered in the South,
And with the sound
The carols drowned
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

It was as if an earthquake rent
The hearth-stones of a continent,
And made forlorn
The households born
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And in despair I bowed my head;
"There is no peace on earth," I said:
"For hate is strong,
And mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!"

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
"God is not dead; nor doth he sleep!
The Wrong shall fail,
The Right prevail,
With peace on earth, good-will to men!"

Small Enough

My heart is heavy.

 

Truly, I look around, and it seems that everywhere I turn I see pain.  Sorrow.  Hurt.  Anger.  Grief.  Lots and lots of grief.

 

It's been like this for a while, too.  I was anxious for summer to end this year, which is unusual for me.  But for some reason I told myself that if summer would just be done, all the heaviness and sadness would be done, too.

 

I'm tempted to say that it seems senseless, even though I have seen God moving through this time.  He is moving slowly, quietly, more like a mist than a strong force.  But, being human and oh-so-doubtful, I still find myself demanding answers of Him.  Why? I ask (not very nicely, either).  Why are people we love being taken from us?  Why can't my brother find a job?  Why are the people I love hurting so much?  Why did You give joy and anticipation only to take it away?  Why the loneliness?  Why the constant struggle just to make ends meet?  And cancer.  What the heck?  Cancer.  Cancer.  Cancer.  Why?  Why?  Why? 

 

I thought to myself today that I was just ready for something joyful.  And then immediately I felt ashamed of myself.  I needed to quiet myself, and to pay attention to the mist I am seeing moving, even through the sorrow.  But tonight I'm not sure I'm there.  Tonight I am not sure I can put the positive spin on it.  Tonight I want to cry out, "my God, my God!  Why have You forsaken us?" 

 

Tonight, when then only prayer that comes to mind is Lord, have mercy, I find - unsurprisingly - that a song expresses it so much better than I can.  Another night I will be able to be positive again.  I know I will.  But tonight, in this time when I look around and see so many people hurting, I pray that our great God, Who is clothed with strength and majesty, will be small enough that we can feel Him. 

 

 

Glory to God For All Things

This Akathist, or prayer service, is said at my church every year on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving.  It touches my heart every, single time and I wanted to share it with you all.  It's amazing how in every verse there was something that I felt to be directly relevant to me.

Happy Thanksgiving.  Glory to God for all things!!!

Kontakion 1

Everlasting King, Thy will for our salvation is full of power. Thy right arm controls the whole course of human life. We give Thee thanks for all Thy mercies, seen and unseen. For eternal life, for the heavenly joys of the Kingdom which is to be. Grant mercy to us who sing Thy praise, both now and in the time to come. Glory to Thee, O God, from age to age.

Ikos 1

I was born a weak, defenceless child, but Thine angel spread his wings over my cradle to defend me. From birth until now Thy love has illumined my path, and has wondrously guided me towards the light of eternity; from birth until now the generous gifts of Thy providence have been marvelously showered upon me. I give Thee thanks, with all who have come to know Thee, who call upon Thy name.

Glory to Thee for calling me into being
Glory to Thee, showing me the beauty of the universe
Glory to Thee, spreading out before me heaven and earth
Like the pages in a book of eternal wisdom
Glory to Thee for Thine eternity in this fleeting world
Glory to Thee for Thy mercies, seen and unseen
Glory to Thee through every sigh of my sorrow
Glory to Thee for every step of my life's journey
For every moment of glory
Glory to Thee, O God, from age to age

Kontakion 2

O Lord, how lovely it is to be Thy guest. Breeze full of scents; mountains reaching to the skies; waters like boundless mirrors, reflecting the sun's golden rays and the scudding clouds. All nature murmurs mysteriously, breathing the depth of tenderness. Birds and beasts of the forest bear the imprint of Thy love. Blessed art thou, mother earth, in thy fleeting loveliness, which wakens our yearning for happiness that will last for ever, in the land where, amid beauty that grows not old, the cry rings out: Alleluia!

Ikos 2

Thou hast brought me into life as into an enchanted paradise. We have seen the sky like a chalice of deepest blue, where in the azure heights the birds are singing. We have listened to the soothing murmur of the forest and the melodious music of the streams. We have tasted fruit of fine flavour and the sweet-scented honey. We can live very well on Thine earth. It is a pleasure to be Thy guest.

Glory to Thee for the Feast Day of life
Glory to Thee for the perfume of lilies and roses
Glory to Thee for each different taste of berry and fruit
Glory to Thee for the sparkling silver of early morning dew
Glory to Thee for the joy of dawn's awakening
Glory to Thee for the new life each day brings
Glory to Thee, O God, from age to age

Kontakion 3

It is the Holy Spirit who makes us find joy in each flower, the exquisite scent, the delicate colour, the beauty of the Most High in the tiniest of things. Glory and honour to the Spirit, the Giver of Life, who covers the fields with their carpet of flowers, crowns the harvest with gold, and gives to us the joy of gazing at it with our eyes. O be joyful and sing to Him: Alleluia!

Ikos 3

How glorious art Thou in the springtime, when every creature awakes to new life and joyfully sings Thy praises with a thousand tongues. Thou art the Source of Life, the Destroyer of Death. By the light of the moon, nightingales sing, and the valleys and hills lie like wedding garments, white as snow. All the earth is Thy promised bride awaiting her spotless husband. If the grass of the field is like this, how gloriously shall we be transfigured in the Second Coming after the Resurrection! How splendid our bodies, how spotless our souls!

Glory to Thee, bringing from the depth of the earth an endless variety of colours, tastes and scents
Glory to Thee for the warmth and tenderness of the world of nature
Glory to Thee for the numberless creatures around us
Glory to Thee for the depths of Thy wisdom, the whole world a living sign of it
Glory to Thee; on my knees, I kiss the traces of Thine unseen hand
Glory to Thee, enlightening us with the clearness of eternal life
Glory to Thee for the hope of the unutterable, imperishable beauty of immortality
Glory to Thee, O God, from age to age

Kontakion 4

How filled with sweetness are those whose thoughts dwell on Thee; how life-giving Thy holy Word. To speak with Thee is more soothing than anointing with oil; sweeter than the honeycomb. To pray to Thee lifts the spirit, refreshes the soul. Where Thou art not, there is only emptiness; hearts are smitten with sadness; nature, and life itself, become sorrowful; where Thou art, the soul is filled with abundance, and its song resounds like a torrent of life: Alleluia!

Ikos 4

When the sun is setting, when quietness falls like the peace of eternal sleep, and the silence of the spent day reigns, then in the splendour of its declining rays, filtering through the clouds, I see Thy dwelling-place: fiery and purple, gold and blue, they speak prophet-like of the ineffable beauty of Thy presence, and call to us in their majesty. We turn to the Father.

Glory to Thee at the hushed hour of nightfall
Glory to Thee, covering the earth with peace
Glory to Thee for the last ray of the sun as it sets
Glory to Thee for sleep's repose that restores us
Glory to Thee for Thy goodness even in the time of darkness
When all the world is hidden from our eyes
Glory to Thee for the prayers offered by a trembling soul
Glory to Thee for the pledge of our reawakening
On that glorious last day, that day which has no evening
Glory to Thee, O God, from age to age

Kontakion 5

The dark storm clouds of life bring no terror to those in whose hearts Thy fire is burning brightly. Outside is the darkness of the whirlwind, the terror and howling of the storm, but in the heart, in the presence of Christ, there is light and peace, silence: Alleluia!

Ikos 5

I see Thine heavens resplendent with stars. How glorious art Thou radiant with light! Eternity watches me by the rays of the distant stars. I am small, insignificant, but the Lord is at my side. Thy right arm guides me wherever I go.

Glory to Thee, ceaselessly watching over me
Glory to Thee for the encounters Thou dost arrange for me
Glory to Thee for the love of parents, for the faithfulness of friends
Glory to Thee for the humbleness of the animals which serve me
Glory to Thee for the unforgettable moments of life
Glory to Thee for the heart's innocent joy
Glory to Thee for the joy of living
Moving and being able to return Thy love
Glory to Thee, O God, from age to age

Kontakion 6

How great and how close art Thou in the powerful track of the storm! How mighty Thy right arm in the blinding flash of the lightning! How awesome Thy majesty! The voice of the Lord fills the fields, it speaks in the rustling of the trees. The voice of the Lord is in the thunder and the downpour. The voice of the Lord is heard above the waters. Praise be to Thee in the roar of mountains ablaze. Thou dost shake the earth like a garment; Thou dost pile up to the sky the waves of the sea. Praise be to Thee, bringing low the pride of man. Thou dost bring from his heart a cry of Penitence: Alleluia!

Ikos 6

When the lightning flash has lit up the camp dining hall, how feeble seems the light from the lamp. Thus dost Thou, like the lightning, unexpectedly light up my heart with flashes of intense joy. After Thy blinding light, how drab, how colourless, how illusory all else seems. My souls clings to Thee.

Glory to Thee, the highest peak of men's dreaming
Glory to Thee for our unquenchable thirst for communion with God
Glory to Thee, making us dissatisfied with earthly things
Glory to Thee, turning on us Thine healing rays
Glory to Thee, subduing the power of the spirits of darkness
And dooming to death every evil
Glory to Thee for the signs of Thy presence
For the joy of hearing Thy voice and living in Thy love
Glory to Thee, O God, from age to age

Kontakion 7

In the wondrous blending of sounds it is Thy call we hear; in the harmony of many voices, in the sublime beauty of music, in the glory of the works of great composers: Thou leadest us to the threshold of paradise to come, and to the choirs of angels. All true beauty has the power to draw the soul towards Thee, and to make it sing in ecstasy: Alleluia!

Ikos 7

The breath of Thine Holy Spirit inspires artists, poets and scientists. The power of Thy supreme knowledge makes them prophets and interpreters of Thy laws, who reveal the depths of Thy creative wisdom. Their works speak unwittingly of Thee. How great art Thou in Thy creation! How great art Thou in man!

Glory to Thee, showing Thine unsurpassable power in the laws of the universe
Glory to Thee, for all nature is filled with Thy laws
Glory to Thee for what Thou hast revealed to us in Thy mercy
Glory to Thee for what Thou hast hidden from us in Thy wisdom
Glory to Thee for the inventiveness of the human mind
Glory to Thee for the dignity of man's labour
Glory to Thee for the tongues of fire that bring inspiration
Glory to Thee, O God, from age to age

Kontakion 8

How near Thou art in the day of sickness. Thou Thyself visitest the sick; Thou Thyself bendest over the sufferer's bed. His heart speaks to Thee. In the throes of sorrow and suffering Thou bringest peace and unexpected consolation. Thou art the comforter. Thou art the love which watches over and heals us. To Thee we sing the song: Alleluia!

Ikos 8

When in childhood I called upon Thee consciously for the first time, Thou didst hear my prayer, and Thou didst fill my heart with the blessing of peace. At that moment I knew Thy goodness and knew how blessed are those who turn to Thee. I started to call upon Thee night and day; and now even now I call upon Thy name.

Glory to Thee, satisfying my desires with good things
Glory to Thee, watching over me day and night
Glory to Thee, curing affliction and emptiness with the healing flow of time
Glory to Thee, no loss is irreparable in Thee, Giver of eternal life to all
Glory to Thee, making immortal all that is lofty and good
Glory to Thee, promising us the longed-for meeting with our loved ones who have died
Glory to Thee, O God, from age to age

Kontakion 9

Why is it that on a Feast Day the whole of nature mysteriously smiles? Why is it that then a heavenly gladness fills our hearts; a gladness far beyond that of earth and the very air in church and in the altar becomes luminous? It is the breath of Thy gracious love. It is the reflection of the glory of Mount Tabor. Then do heaven and earth sing Thy praise: Alleluia!

Ikos 9

When Thou didst call me to serve my brothers and filled my soul with humility, one of Thy deep, piercing rays shone into my heart; it became luminous, full of light like iron glowing in the furnace. I have seen Thy face, face of mystery and of unapproachable glory.

Glory to Thee, transfiguring our lives with deeds of love
Glory to Thee, making wonderfully Sweet the keeping of Thy commandments
Glory to Thee, making Thyself known where man shows mercy on his neighbour
Glory to Thee, sending us failure and misfortune that we may understand the sorrows of others
Glory to Thee, rewarding us so well for the good we do
Glory to Thee, welcoming the impulse of our heart's love
Glory to Thee, raising to the heights of heaven every act of love in earth and sky
Glory to Thee, O God, from age to age

Kontakion 10

No one can put together what has crumbled into dust, but Thou canst restore a conscience turned to ashes. Thou canst restore to its former beauty a soul lost and without hope. With Thee, there is nothing that cannot be redeemed. Thou art love; Thou art Creator and Redeemer. We praise Thee, singing: Alleluia!

Ikos 10

Remember, my God, the fall of Lucifer full of pride, keep me safe with the power of Thy Grace; save me from falling away from Thee. Save me from doubt. Incline my heart to hear Thy mysterious voice every moment of my life. Incline my heart to call upon Thee, present in everything.

Glory to Thee for every happening
Every condition Thy providence has put me in
Glory to Thee for what Thou speakest to me in my heart
Glory to Thee for what Thou revealest to me, asleep or awake
Glory to Thee for scattering our vain imaginations
Glory to Thee for raising us from the slough of our passions through suffering
Glory to Thee for curing our pride of heart by humiliation
Glory to Thee, O God, from age to age

Kontakion 11

Across the cold chains of the centuries, I feel the warmth of Thy breath, I feel Thy blood pulsing in my veins. Part of time has already gone, but now Thou art the present. I stand by Thy Cross; I was the cause of it. I cast myself down in the dust before it. Here is the triumph of love, the victory of salvation. Here the centuries themselves cannot remain silent, singing Thy praises: Alleluia!

Ikos 11

Blessed are they that will share in the King's Banquet: but already on earth Thou givest me a foretaste of this blessedness. How many times with Thine own hand hast Thou held out to me Thy Body and Thy Blood, and I, though a miserable sinner, have received this Mystery, and have tasted Thy love, so ineffable, so heavenly.

Glory to Thee for the unquenchable fire of Thy Grace
Glory to Thee, building Thy Church, a haven of peace in a tortured world
Glory to Thee for the life-giving water of Baptism in which we find new birth
Glory to Thee, restoring to the penitent purity white as the lily
Glory to Thee for the cup of salvation and the bread of eternal joy
Glory to Thee for exalting us to the highest heaven
Glory to Thee, O God, from age to age

Kontakion 12

How often have I seen the reflection of Thy glory in the faces of the dead. How resplendent they were, with beauty and heavenly joy. How ethereal, how translucent their faces. How triumphant over suffering and death, their felicity and peace. Even in the silence they were calling upon Thee. In the hour of my death, enlighten my soul, too, that it may cry out to Thee: Alleluia!

Ikos 12

What sort of praise can I give Thee? I have never heard the song of the Cherubim, a joy reserved for the spirits above. But I know the praises that nature sings to Thee. In winter, I have beheld how silently in the moonlight the whole earth offers Thee prayer, clad in its white mantle of snow, sparkling like diamonds. I have seen how the rising sun rejoices in Thee, how the song of the birds is a chorus of praise to Thee. I have heard the mysterious mutterings of the forests about Thee, and the winds singing Thy praise as they stir the waters. I have understood how the choirs of stars proclaim Thy glory as they move forever in the depths of infinite space. What is my poor worship! All nature obeys Thee, I do not. Yet while I live, I see Thy love, I long to thank Thee, and call upon Thy name.

Glory to Thee, giving us light
Glory to Thee, loving us with love so deep, divine and infinite
Glory to Thee, blessing us with light, and with the host of angels and saints
Glory to Thee, Father all-holy, promising us a share in Thy Kingdom
Glory to Thee, Holy Spirit, life-giving Sun of the world to come
Glory to Thee for all things, Holy and most merciful Trinity
Glory to Thee, O God, from age to age

Kontakion 13

Life-giving and merciful Trinity, receive my thanksgiving for all Thy goodness. Make us worthy of Thy blessings, so that, when we have brought to fruit the talents Thou hast entrusted to us, we may enter into the joy of our Lord, forever exulting in the shout of victory: Alleluia!

Icon written by Daryl Cochran

A Love Letter - Of Sorts

To the One God has chosen for me,

I've been thinking about you a lot lately.  I find myself wondering who you are...What do you do?  Do you sit at a desk all day?  Do you teach?  Coach?  Fight fires, or catch bad guys?  What do you look like?  Are you tall?  Blond?  Brunette?  I'll be shocked if you have red hair, but I guess that doesn't mean you don't. 

And where are you?  Do you live here, or in another city?  And are you a stranger or have we met and just weren't ready for each other? 

I have so much to tell you, so much to share.  After all, I have 25 years of experiences you don't know.  And I can't wait to hear about all the moments of your life I haven't been a part of.  What stories will your family and friends tell me?  How embarrassed will you be?  I have plenty of my own that are embarrassing...But I know you'll enjoy hearing them as much as I will enjoy hearing yours.

I don't always wonder about you, you know, although lately it does seem like you've been occupying more of my thoughts.  I lead a good, happy, full life.  I give a lot of love and receive even more in return.  I am surrounded by people who lift me up and keep me going when I don't know that I can.

But more and more lately I have felt like something is missing.  It's not something necessary for survival.  It's like I feel like I'm missing a rib.  I'm not quite whole, and yet - if I had to - I could lead a complete and happy life.  The missing rib just gives me a pang every now and again.

You are my missing rib, and I am yours - and that's just the way it is.  And until I find you no other rib will do.  I can't settle for one that seems appealing, but doesn't fit.  I won't.  So I wait for you.

Sometimes I get impatient, and the wait seems unbearable, but that's a struggle in every part of my life.  Can I apologize for that now?  I can be very patient with people (small children, especially), but when I want something I have a horribly hard time waiting for it.

Do you have a hard time waiting for me?  Or are you just living your life, blissfully unaware as of yet that your rib is out here, waiting for you to find her? 

I know it's God's timing, God's will, that I am waiting on.  And until He deems us both ready I will continue to wait.  I pray for you every night.  I am so excited to meet you.  Take care of yourself until I can help take care of you.

Love,

Steph

I Am Frustrated Tonight...

I'm frustrated tonight.  I am frustrated because I have to work 3 jobs to be able to pay my rent.  I am frustrated because I had to work over 12 hours today.  I am frustrated because I don't have a car.  I am frustrated because my legs hurt from being on them all day.  I am frustrated because so many kids I interacted with today acted entitled and prissy.  I am frustrated because the wings I began making for Timmy were too small and I have to start again.  I am frustrated about being so frustrated that every, little thing becomes even more frustrating to me. 

You may or may not have noticed, but I am feeling a bit frustrated tonight.

I considered writing a rant about how kids these days are too entitled, but then I realized it would go against my only true rule for writing: I will only write things that lift myself, and my readers, up.

In the midst of all this frustration a songs is flitting through my head.  It's a song I know well, and because it is so familiar I find myself ignoring it.  There's nothing new in this song, there's no shock in it.  It isn't even truly a song, but instead a prayer that has been set to music. 

This is the prayer I pray on my way to work in the mornings.  It is the prayer I would pray over the kids as I rubbed their backs to help them go to sleep.  It is the prayer I pray when I am nervous or scared.  It is the prayer I pray when moms cry to me and I don't know what to say.  It is the prayer that without fail comes into my head when I am overwhelmingly frustrated.  The words slowly and gently make themselves known in my head, as if to offer a gentle reminder that being frustrated is not what I really want.  The state of frustration isn't me.  This prayer helps me to make it true.

The Prayer of St. Francis of Assissi
Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace:
Where there is hatred, let me sow love
Where there is injury, pardon
Where there is doubt, faith
Where there is despair, hope
Where there is darkness, light
Where there is sadness, joy

O, Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console
To be understood, as to understand
To be loved, as to love

For it's in giving that we receive
And it's in pardoning that we are pardoned
And it's in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Amen.

"In Brightest Day, in Blackest Night..."

Am I in love with Ryan Reynolds?

Well, let me think about it for a minute or two.  You see, I went to see Green Lantern recently and was a little surprised by how thoroughly I enjoyed myself.  The movie itself wasn't particularly new in any way, although it did have some clever aspects to it.  The acting was - well, it was a superhero movie, so there were some outrageously cheesy lines (and deliveries), but overall it was fine.  It's not going to win any awards, and I'm sure the critics aren't too impressed.  In spite of all that, well, like I said: I really loved it!

I was immediately struck by how the heroes were powered by the Force of Will, and the villain was "an entity of Fear."  It's such an interesting concept, and yet somehow makes perfect sense: We are only held back by fear.  Without fear, with our will, we are able to accomplish anything.  (Well, not really anything, I guess.  I can't just pull a giant racetrack out thin air.)   But really, doesn't it make sense to think that "will is the driving force that powers us"?  One character even says that "will is the strongest force in the universe," and that when it is harnessed it can be used to power entire planets. 

I like that concept.  I like the idea that we are in control of our actions.  How very autonomous of me, right?  But really, it gives me a little bit of peace to think that the only thing keeping me from doing something that I want to do is, well, me.  Okay, so money can be tight, and obviously I have to go to work so I can pay my bills.  But when it comes down to it, if I decide I want to go to Harry Potter Land I can - I just have to come up with a plan to save for it.  If I decide I want to go back to school, I can.  If I decide I want to go sky-diving, I can.  There are so many things I have always said I wanted to do but somehow over the years they just haven't happened.  I never quite got around to them, or something else always came up.  And while the excuses - or "reasons," as I called them - were always good, I have been bothered by a little voice in the back of my mind that whispers, That's not why...You're just scared.  That's why.  This idea that my own will can give me the power to do these things - that it can give me the power to overcome fear - is one I like to have in my head.


Obviously seeing superhero movies is good for me. 


But Will vs. Fear cannot be where the thoughts stop, because for me, as a Christian, well, that isn't the end of the line.  Do I have my own will?  Yes!  I absolutely do.  Is my will the driving force that powers me?  My answer would have to be, "yes...to a certain extent."  But even that meshes with the movie.  The ring is what gives the Green Lantern his power; without it he is just a guy.  Hmmm...that sounds familiar.  Except, in my life, the Thing that powers my will is really a Being. 

There is a lot of talk in the movie about accepting the fact that you are afraid, but then overcoming it - courage.  Acknowledge the fear, but rise above it.  Don't engage it.  It makes me think about what my parish priest has said about it Christian life: it isn't about how few times you fall, but rather how many times you stand back up.  There is a moment in the movie when Paralax (the "entity of Fear") is battling Hal (the Green Lantern) and seems to be winning - as usually happens when the superhero and villain face off.  Paralax feels Hal's fear - my stomach clenched: would Hal actually lose? - and begins whispering to him.  "I can feel you weakening.  I feel your fear.  I am going to win.  There's no way you, an insignificant human, can beat me.  I will destroy you and your entire world..." He goes on and on.  How many times have I heard the same types of whispers in my head?  "I can feel you weakening.  I feel your fear.  I am going to win.  There's no way you, an insignificant human, can beat me.  I will bring you down.  I will keep you in despair.  You will never be able to stand up from this..."  It's odd how similar the whispers in the movie are to the whispers we all hear in real life.  And then Hal does something to beat the fear far enough back that he can get out of his crouched position and stand up: he recites the Green Lantern Oath.

In brightest day, in darkest night no evil will escape my sight.
Let those who worship evil's might beware my power...Green Lantern's Light!!

It drowns out the whispers.  It deals a harsh blow to fear.  I have something I say in those moments, too: Lord, Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.  Over and over and over again.  It drowns out the whispers.  It helps me stand back up.

Now, I wish I could say that these parallels I found between the movie and my spiritual life were the only reasons I enjoyed the movie - other than pure entertainment, I suppose.  But if I am honest I have to admit they weren't.  So what else could possibly have drawn me into the movie? 

Ryan Reynolds.

Or, more specifically, his tush. 

I know, I know...All that talk about my spiritual life and here I am, admitting that I kept getting distracted during the movie by something as physical and superficial as a nice butt.  So much for keeping my eyes on the prize. 

But, and I may be wrong to think this way, I don't think it's a terrible thing.  I don't necessarily think that it discredits what I said before.  I think it's absolutely amazing and awesome - in the true sense of the word - that we, as humans, are created to have those "higher" and noble emotions and feelings (love) but are also created to have baser and more primal feelings (lust).  And maybe I'm a bit embarrassed to admit that my feelings toward Ryan Reynolds more closely resemble the latter - after all, I haven't met him and I don't actually know anything about him, so there's no way I could love him - but I do think that it was okay for me to send up a silent prayer a few times during the movie.  Lord, thank You for Your amazing creation.  I really appreciate it.  Then I would have to try to bounce my thoughts back to the actual movie. 

So I guess the official answer to the question I asked at the beginning of this post - Am I in love with Ryan Reynolds? - would have to be, "No.  I'm not.  But I really, really appreciate him."  And really, I think that's okay.  After all, I had other things to think about after the movie. 

I kind of love this.  The Oath is part of what makes it so great.

Photo cred unknown.