I Heard the Bells

Oh, what a day.

Fear, excitement, panic, hope, dread...the list goes on and on and on.  Sitting at my computer (at work...shhh) I felt it all rise up within me.  I became suddenly overwhelmed.  How on earth will we go on after this election day?  No one can deny that this campaign process has incited and ignited passion within people.  And not just good passion.  No.  Anger...hatred...vitriol...

I wondered how our nation could move on after all this.  Surely we are more divided than ever before.

Except -

As I let my mind spiral downward a song came on my Dave Barnes (Holiday) Pandora station.  (Yes.  Holiday.  Judge not.)  As I listened I felt tears come to my eyes and peace wash over me.  The carol was a song based on a poem written by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow on Christmas Day, 1863.

Folks, 1863 was the middle of the American Civil War.  A time when our nation was more divided than ever before, a time in which it seemed we could only splinter apart.  Longfellow, the widowed father of six children, had recently learned his oldest child had been severely injured in the war.  So he did what the artists and dreamers do: He put his pain and hope on paper.

I think it applies now, just as surely as then.

Here is his poem (emphasis mine):

I heard the bells on Christmas Day
Their old, familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet
The words repeat
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And thought how, as the day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom
Had rolled along
The unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Till, ringing, singing on its way,
The world revolved from night to day,
A voice, a chime,
A chant sublime
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Then from each black, accursed mouth
The cannon thundered in the South,
And with the sound
The carols drowned
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

It was as if an earthquake rent
The hearth-stones of a continent,
And made forlorn
The households born
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And in despair I bowed my head;
"There is no peace on earth," I said:
"For hate is strong,
And mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!"

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
"God is not dead; nor doth he sleep!
The Wrong shall fail,
The Right prevail,
With peace on earth, good-will to men!"

A Love Letter - Of Sorts

To the One God has chosen for me,

I've been thinking about you a lot lately.  I find myself wondering who you are...What do you do?  Do you sit at a desk all day?  Do you teach?  Coach?  Fight fires, or catch bad guys?  What do you look like?  Are you tall?  Blond?  Brunette?  I'll be shocked if you have red hair, but I guess that doesn't mean you don't. 

And where are you?  Do you live here, or in another city?  And are you a stranger or have we met and just weren't ready for each other? 

I have so much to tell you, so much to share.  After all, I have 25 years of experiences you don't know.  And I can't wait to hear about all the moments of your life I haven't been a part of.  What stories will your family and friends tell me?  How embarrassed will you be?  I have plenty of my own that are embarrassing...But I know you'll enjoy hearing them as much as I will enjoy hearing yours.

I don't always wonder about you, you know, although lately it does seem like you've been occupying more of my thoughts.  I lead a good, happy, full life.  I give a lot of love and receive even more in return.  I am surrounded by people who lift me up and keep me going when I don't know that I can.

But more and more lately I have felt like something is missing.  It's not something necessary for survival.  It's like I feel like I'm missing a rib.  I'm not quite whole, and yet - if I had to - I could lead a complete and happy life.  The missing rib just gives me a pang every now and again.

You are my missing rib, and I am yours - and that's just the way it is.  And until I find you no other rib will do.  I can't settle for one that seems appealing, but doesn't fit.  I won't.  So I wait for you.

Sometimes I get impatient, and the wait seems unbearable, but that's a struggle in every part of my life.  Can I apologize for that now?  I can be very patient with people (small children, especially), but when I want something I have a horribly hard time waiting for it.

Do you have a hard time waiting for me?  Or are you just living your life, blissfully unaware as of yet that your rib is out here, waiting for you to find her? 

I know it's God's timing, God's will, that I am waiting on.  And until He deems us both ready I will continue to wait.  I pray for you every night.  I am so excited to meet you.  Take care of yourself until I can help take care of you.

Love,

Steph